BOSFOK

So I started a blog post which went like this:

I've posted a lot lately about inspiration and passion and dedication. But what happens when you don't feel any of that? What if it's all just going wrong?

I'm currently halfway through getting comments back from test readers on my work in progress. This has been a real Frankenstein of a book and I know that in the words of one of my testers "there's a great book in there" but right now it's hiding itself quite successfully. I know exactly how this has happened – I conceived the book as one thing but, for one reason and another, was persuaded to write something else so the plot became too unwieldy and convoluted. Cue rewriting the second half of the story and the first edit spent trying to stitch them both together. I'm still having plot problems and trying to force square pegs into round holes and it's been making me miserable. Inspiration and passion are nowhere. Instead I've had to fall back on sheer stubbornness and shouting BOSFOK at myself – that's quite therapeutic! It isn't actually swearing, it stands for "bum on seat, fingers on keyboard" (pen in hand while editing actually, but BOSPIN doesn't give quite the same punch).

I know this funk is temporary. I'm right on the cusp of making it all work again, I just have to put in the hours to make it so. That's where being a Taurean and stubborn as hell is my strength!

And the great thing is that from when I drafted that I had a lightbulb moment: I got out of my own way and let the story flow and let the main character show herself how she really is and not how I was trying to portray her. Lesson learned in a very painful way! Now I'm really excited to rewrite the book, the only slight issue I have is that I have a very tight deadline in which to get it done. But I can do this (down time at Christmas, totally over-rated. . .) and am so excited to see this story exactly how it should be told.